I shall call thee “The Great Flu of 2008″

 

As you can probably tell from the title, I had the flu this week.  Not just any kind of flu mind you… but a MASSIVE flu.  The kind that you remember for years to come.  I know this because the last time I had the flu this bad, it was just after Christmas of 98.  I was so sick that come New Year’s Eve, I dared not drink (NO! say it ain’t so!) and it was also the night that Dan & I got engaged (awwwwww).  I really shouldn’t complain about getting it since I haven’t had it in so long, but I can so I will.

This flu was the debilitating kind.  The kind that makes you think you are dying and/or wish for death.  In between the violent shakes of your body emptying itself, you have a few moments to ponder when exactly did you contract this horridness.  Is it the flu?  Is it food poisoning?  When did I accidently lick a chicken breast coated with salmonella as if it were a popsicle?  Or have I managed to spontaneously acquire a random strain of Ebola Zaire on a shopping cart?  Maybe you don’t picture yourself as having Ebola, but when I feel like my intestines are liquifying, that’s what I turn to.

But it wasn’t Ebola… don’t think food poisoning either since my neighbor got it the same night I did.  And I also had a small fever which rumor has it, is key to NOT having food poisoning.  As if it matters what the hell I had.  I just don’t ever want it again.  Thank the dear lord for my in laws who told me I had no choice but to come to their house and stay.  I’m pretty sure I was severly dehydrated by the time they got here and I must have looked bad enough to scare them.  Or maybe they just aren’t used to looking at me with no makeup and I’m that scary without it.  Whatever the case, I greatly appreciated it.  I could barely walk anymore and crying alone while rocking next to the toilet was getting old.  Honestly, I was so bad.  I couldn’t even produce saliva anymore.  How sad is that?  Pretty sad folks, pretty sad.