The first cut is the deepest

The day that I knew would come finally arrived the night before last.  Gerrit was upset because I wouldn’t let him get dressed at bedtime.  I had tried to get him dressed earlier in the day but he said he wanted to stay in his pj’s all day.  I didn’t particularly care since we weren’t going anywhere and I said fine.  Well, 7:30 pm rolls around he decides now he would like to put the clothes on that I had picked out before.  Um, no.  We’re not going down this road.  I refuse to fight him everyday about wearing pj’s all day and clothes to bed.  So no.  He cried and cried and was SO mad about it.   He kept pleading with me and telling me ‘but I want to get dressed now’ ‘really really please??’.  Not gonna happen dude.

I was in his room, putting clothes in his drawers and as he sat down, he pulled his legs up to his chest and covered his face with his hands, sobbing he said ‘you’re not my mommy anymore’.  Ugh… there it was.  The first time he had something awful like that to me.  I knew it would come someday but I expected him to be older than 4.

I told him that was really mean thing he said to me and I left the room.  I went into Emma’s room where Dan was reading a book to Emma and told him what Gerrit had said.  When Gerrit came into the room a minute later, he climbed up behind Dan and hid his face from me.  He knew he had really done something this time and I ignored him.  He asked Dan one more time if he could get dressed now and Dan said no and told him he needed to go to bed right now since he couldn’t stop asking.  Then he told him that only he would put him to bed since Gerrit didn’t want me to be his mommy anymore.  Dan carried off a hysterical Gerrit.  He was kicking and screaming NO!  Of course, he had changed his mind.  He did want me again.  Dan told him to come apologize to me and Gerrit did.  About 20 sorry mommy’s came tumbling out, one after the other. 

I don’t know why Gerrit lost his mind that night.  I’m glad he found it again.  I told him he better not ever say anything so mean to me again but sadly, I know he will.  They’ll both say horrible things to me in the future and I’m sure think worse.  I guess part of doing your job as a parent is making your children despise you for saying no.  It’ll hurt when they do but it’s normal.  Never ok but normal.

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About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in Dan & Chris, Me, My family, Stuff that ticks me off, The kids, Uncategorized, Woe is me. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The first cut is the deepest

  1. Duh says:

    Is that kid in the picture sitting next to his dad’s grave???

  2. Tracy Kinney says:

    Oh my! Ethan has just recently said similar things to me. same thing, i say ‘No” to something, he loses it and tells me, “I don’t want you for a mommy at all!”

    ahhh…the often thankless job of motherhood!

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