My awesome friend, Deb, forwarded me some information about a 3 day taste test that she was ineligible for but she thought I might be interested in.  I answered the questions that qualify you and was enrolled.  The test would be 1hr long and take place on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday of this week.  I scheduled it a couple of hours before my final week of bus driving class since it was on the north end of town.  I figured I would save myself some gas and the trip out there by combining them.  The pay off would be at the end of the 3 days when they put $80 in your hand for your opinion about cereal.

Normally, taste testing is about the easiest thing in the world you could ever do for money.  Not only do you get to give your opinion about whatever food you are testing, but they pay you cash dollars for it!  My opinion and money are my 2 favorite things so to have a collaboration of both is awesome!  Simple, easy, good.  I think I’m clever and totally have it all figured out until I see the question -Do you have a problem tasting the sample with 2% milk?

Oh snap… milk.  I’m testing cereal and I have to eat it with milk… my nemesis, my devil, the bane of my existence.  Now I have a tough choice… do I still do the study and consume the milk or do I pass on it and also pass up $80?  My easy money is quickly becoming hard but is it still worth it?

Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a hard time saying no to making money.  Especially money that is so easy!  Seriously… I show up, put food in my mouth, chew it and check boxes that reflect how I feel about it.  That is the easiest money that I’ll ever make.  How do I say no?

I sign up and show up on Tuesday (day 1).  I have a plan.  I will put in as little milk as possible and try to dribble out as much as I can from my spoon before I place it in my mouth.  Surely, droplets of milk stuck on some cereal couldn’t possibly put me into the agony that ingesting an ice cream sundae can, right?

I complete the test and I’m driving away, silently congratulating myself on how little milk I consumed and how crafty I am when the first burp comes.  I dismiss it and continue onto my bus driving class. 

Oh yeah… remember that?  I have to sit in class for 3.5hrs after going to taste test.  There’s no other option.  In my ‘genius’ planning, I had booked the tasting directly before my bus driving class.  Now, I had to sit through my self induced misery in a classroom with 30 other adults and not in the privacy of my own home (or bathroom).

As the time ticked on, I tried to concentrate on what the instructor was saying.  I ignored the loud rumblings in my stomach and at each break time, I continued to sit in my chair for fear of what might come with standing up and going to the bathroom.  It’s then that I realize what I’ve really done.  I have 2 more days of taste testing to do and the last taste test is directly before my last bus driving class… directly before my TEST!  I have to take a test in order to pass this class and now I have to take it with Armageddon happening in my intestinal tract.

Yesterday, I broke down and bought the stupid $10 Lactate medicine.  There’s just no other way I can carry on.  I can’t refuse to use the milk or I’ll be disqualified from the taste test but I can’t concentrate on questions about driving a school bus and children’s safety when I’ve transformed into Tooti VonStinkerson.

Today is judgement day.  I take my final test for both tonight.  We’ll see what happens.  Will I walk away with the $80 and pass my driving test?  Sometimes, I’m just too crafty for my own good.


About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
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2 Responses to Intolerance

  1. Nicole says:

    I almost signed up for the same test! I could only make it 2 out of the 3 days though!

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