I can’t sleep… I woke up at 1:15am and although I’m tired, sleep has eluded me. My eyes have that grainy feel that they get from lack of sleep and my body aches in tiny, annoying ways. A small throb in my knee then a dull ache in my back. I think my cells are begging me to try once more to fall back into that wonderful dreamland but after 3 hours of laying there, I just can’t take it anymore.
Sleep was always a challenge for me. I had terrible nightmares as a child and I think it left me fearful of sleep. As I grew older, it only became worse. There were times where the thought of going to bed and attempting to fall asleep would fill me with anxiety. Silly, huh? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the act itself of sleeping but the process of getting there was the hang up.
As an adult, I tried to learn healthier sleeping habits. Becoming a parent, I vowed to teach my kids how to sleep on their own. To embrace being alone in their beds and falling asleep without the aid of a myriad of tricks. I feel like I’ve done that. They rest peacefully in their beds. Bedtime is not something they fight. They know it’s inevitable and I think they find comfort laying snuggled in their blankets. The very thing I hoped to cultivate.
Over the years, I’ve learned some tricks of my own for teaching myself how to sleep well. I watch my caffeine intake in the afternoon, I skip naps and after all these years of Dan saying it, I’m willing to now just go to sleep if I’m tired regardless of what the clock says. If it’s 8pm, the kids are in bed and if I’m tired… I’ll probably just turn off the lights and tv and go to bed. It makes getting up at 5 a lot easier and it’s a good example of listening to my body.
Outside of the usual culprits to insomnia (caffeine, late night tv watching), I’ve really done well avoiding any recent bouts. I guess I’d taken for granted how well I’ve been sleeping until I’m reminded just how much it sucks to not be able to attain it. While laying there, a multitude of things fly through your head. Things that happened that day, things you need to do tomorrow and why the hell can’t I sleep??? I’ll blame this time on a lack of working out. The last 2 days, I haven’t done anything and I really believe that’s why I’m sitting here blogging instead of laying in my bed sawing logs.
Tonight, I’m sure that blissful deep sleep will find me again. An 11 mile run is on the agenda of things to do. I’m not sure where I’ll find the energy to do that with only 3 hrs of sleep but with enough coffee & monsters in me, I’m sure there’s nothing that I can’t do. Until then, happy slumbers to you.