Run, run like the wind

“I’m not running right now”.  I kept repeating that sentence to Dan, his parents, anybody that I happened to cross paths with this morning.  The Riverbank Run was taking place and as I said, I was not running it.  My sickness continues to control my daily activities and running is still off the table.  Making the decision that I couldn’t run even the 10k was a hard pill to swallow.  Particularly since my throat is still raw. 

The dr has now put me on a nasal spray with steroids.  I suspect he thinks this will help for things to drain out instead of just sitting in there.  No, I still don’t know quite what I have.  I still have problems with my throat, ears and my eyes are a big issue at this point.  I woke up Tuesday morning with them swollen into giant blobs and what you could see of the former whites of my eyes was grey and bloodshot.  They burned like they were swimming in sewage.  The fever  had returned and I was hit. 

While I know that this illness will not kill me, it’s frustrating to not be living either.  I find myself having to choose between doing some daily cleaning or trying to do a very small circuit with some weights.  No cardio.  For a girl who was running 12/13miles at a time a month ago, this newfound routine has become as psychologically draining as it is physically.  It’s hard to not progress and get better.  This ‘thing’ should not have me down this long.  It’s not cancer, it’s not terminal.  So why the hell is it controlling my life?  I feel stupid that it has but when I try to buck that and regain control of my normal life, I end up floored again.  I’m so over waiting to get better and I keep dreaming of the day that I truly am over it.

I pass someone running on the street and I think to myself… remember when I was a runner?  I’m not running right now.  I have a permanent reservation for a table of 1 at the pity party


About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in Me, Other Peeps, Random Ramblings, Running, Stuff that ticks me off, Uncategorized, Woe is me. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Run, run like the wind

  1. tracy says:

    oh, chris. this is terrible. i didn’t realize you were STILL sick. how miserable. i can meet you at your pity party anytime you want. sucks!
    i hope you are on the mend soon. maybe we can race together next year. you can be healthy and i can be un-prego!

  2. Duh says:

    You need to find out what the hell this is! Being that sick for that long is not OK. Did the doc do a culture of your throat to make sure it’s not strep? Josh had it in his butt, you know. LOL

  3. Chris says:

    I’m going back to the dr this morning. We’ll see what new developments this brings. Eventually, I must get better, no?

    Duh, only your son could get strep throat in his butt LOL. I have no idea how he did it. Was the dr mystified as well? I hope your kids are both feeling better.

    Tracy, are you actually considering doing another long distance race? Has the pregnancy affected your memory? Too late, you said it and I’m going to take it. 😉

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