Here we are… 2011. I can’t even believe it. Seems like just the other day, people were frantically hoarding toilet paper & non-perishables for the Y2K scare. Now, it’s quite the scroll down to find your birth year when filling out documents online. I started to feel really old the other day when Emma asked me how to say the year 1857. She said she didn’t really know how to say years like that. Really? Then I remembered that she was born in 2003 and the year has always been 2000 something to her. They ask me all the time if there was this & that when we were kids….
“Did you have Wii’s growing up?”
“Did you get to play in snow?”
“Did they have batteries when you were little?”
I understand that they’re just trying to create a frame of reference of what life was like for us but after a while I just feel ancient. Feeling ancient leads me to reflection. And that reflection leads me to think about where I’ve come from, who I’ve become thus far and where I’d like to be in the future.
Looking back on your past seems easy enough. Memories, both happy & sad, guide the way. But I’ve been wondering, is it possible to trust those memories? How much of our past is tainted by our perception of what really happened, all the while missing the bigger picture. We can only recall events as we interpret them leaving us wide open to misunderstanding. Does anyone else feel the frustration in that? What’s real when we create our own reality? I know people who recall stories of their past and they couldn’t sound more absurd or untrue to me but in their eyes, they think that’s what really happened. Do all of us do that to a certain extent?
Then I started to consider who I am today. How close am I to being the person I’d like to be and how well am I reflecting that picture to others? That line of thinking made me wonder what would happen if we got to see ourselves through each other’s eyes. Would that be a blessing or a curse? It sounds like a great litmus test in theory. Living your life so that other’s perception of you was better than what you thought of yourself. In a way, I think most people would be successful. Maybe pleasantly surprised that the world thinks better of us than we think of ourselves.
And onto where I’d like to be in the future. The words “not the hero I could be but not the dog I was” often ring in my head when considering this. I believe the point of life is to become all that you can possibly be but by the same token, humans have such an inherent problem with seeing their own faults. How do you accomplish becoming something better if you can’t see when you’re wrong? Hopefully, you have someone in your life that loves you enough to mention your weaknesses to you with care and consideration. A loved one that believes in you enough to say kindly… you sort of suck at that. And hopefully, you love them enough to take their words to heart. I decided to do just that.
It’s been brought to my attention in the last month or so that I’m
very a little critical of things. Shows, commercials, other people’s driving… you get the idea. Apparently, I tend to judge them and sometimes I’m not so nice about it. And so I’ve decided to try to conquer this flaw in my character. Be a little nicer, a little less jaded, a lot more kind hearted. Hmmm… this may take a while. Good thing I’ve got the rest of my life to work on it.