I’m in here

I’m in here

Yesterday, a random thought popped into my head and it was that sometimes the worst thing about people is being one.

Humans are needy creatures.  Constantly searching for the things that fill us.  As necessary as food and water, we crave so much.  More complex than the simple lives of animals, we demand acknowledgement.  We desire affirmation.  We flourish with love and struggle when we’re missing understanding.  We all strive to find people who fulfill us.  That listen and even when they may not agree, will validate us.  Connect us together and
fill the empty well deep inside our souls.

Even babies seek to have their feelings recognized.  They’re cold, they’re hungry, they’re lonely.  Their cries saying see me?  make it better.  Everyone of us asking to be filled.  All of us needing to feel important and valuable.

Our emotions are messy beasts though and can quickly devour those around them if left unchecked.  So how do you know if you’ve got them in line?  How do you evaluate if what you’re feeling is real or just a skewed vision of reality?

Unlike animals, we can so easily let our feelings run rampant and allow decisions to be formulated from those emotions.  A friend recently told me it’s ok to have emotions, but that doesn’t mean you can or should necessarily act on them.  She’s completely right.  But where is the line that we must all tip toe?  How do we decide which feelings should be addressed and which should be smothered?

The human mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s not.  It’s truly just an incredibly complicated computer that processes the data we put into it.  But what does the heart know?  When it tells you it’s sad, it’s lonely, it’s elated, it’s at peace… how do you know that you can trust it?

I battle with it.  I honestly do.  Finding that perfect point of balance.  I teeter with uncertainty.  Trying to decide if I’m right or wrong.  Having lived through the harsh reality of what happens when you ignore your feelings, I worry if I cram them away they’ll crush me.  But what if they’re invalid?  What if my mind is telling my heart information that’s simply not true?  It’s a battle.  And I’m terrified I’ll  end up losing.

So that’s what I mean… simply being humans, the immensely complicated beings we are, might just be the worst thing that ever happened to us.


About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in Becoming, Me, Random Ramblings, Uncategorized, Woe is me. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I’m in here

  1. Erin Pollet says:

    Just because you don’t act on any particular emotion doesn’t mean you have to smother it! I think accepting that you feel a certain way, and giving yourself permission to feel that way without doing anything about it isn’t the same as smothering.

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