Lost

Today is Day #6 of my 30 days of running and I spent most of the day feeling gross.  Pretty much like I was going to puke.  Not what I call ideal for trotting on a treadmill.  My first instinct was to give up my run for the day.  After all, it sounded like the sensible thing to do.  Then I thought ‘what would a runner do? what would i have done before when i was a runner?’.

Runners are a lot of things but sensible about missing their runs… not so much.  The answer to my delimma was obvious.  Today, despite that sea-sick feeling in my stomach, I would run.  I donned my gear and headed downstairs.

As I ran my obligatory time, I thought of all the runners I’ve come to know in the past few years.  Some I’ve run with, some I haven’t.  I thought about how dedicated they are and how deeply saddened they become when an injury makes them have to stop doing the thing they so desperately love.  I thought of an old high school friend, Barb, who shared with me that she was no longer able to run and I thought about how much she would give to be on the treadmill instead of me.  It deepened my resolve… to run and become the runner I used to be.  Because I can still run, I just chose not to.  And how sad is that?  I willingly gave up my gift.  Some day I may not have the luxury to pick it back up.  My gift may eventually be gone too.

I was talking with two coworkers yesterday about regret and which is worse… regretting the things you didn’t do or regretting the things you did do.  There’s plenty of things I regret doing in life (most of which won’t be shared on this blog) but I honestly don’t have many regrets about the things I haven’t done.  Maybe that’s because I like to think I have a long life ahead to accomplish and do a million things.  Or maybe it’s because I feel pretty good that I’ve taken the chances in life as they have afforded themselves.  I categorize becoming a runner again as one of those things I know I’ll regret if I don’t do.

As I ran this afternoon, I thought about Barb and all the other runners out there that would gladly kick me off that treadmill and take my place if they could.  And so I ran for them.  Longer and harder than I have before.

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About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in 30 days of running, Becoming, Me, Other Peeps, Running and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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