I have a confession to make and it may just change the way you think about me as a mother. If you choose to keep reading, you’re accepting this risk and vow to not judge me. Can you do that?
I confess that I do not do crafts with my kids. Never have and probably never will. Now, I know that I’m a ‘stay at home’ mom and it’s practically all I should be doing in between all the delicious/nutritious cooking, baking and decorating I do but I haven’t. I’m pretty sure that it was invented by the devil himself as something to make my life harder. If it’s not the #1 thing on my list of I Just Don’t Do That it has to be a close #2. And if there’s some bizarre disease that children contract from lack of crafting, I’ve more or less doomed my offspring to it.
why don’t you craft? it’s delightful fun!
Because it’s just not. Doing crafts to me is akin to going to the dentist. If it’s not painful, it’s going to be uncomfortable at the very least. So no, I don’t collect toilet paper rolls and milk cartons to make something magical. Ever. I don’t own a glue gun or even know how to safely operate one. And if you ever see me holding one, I suggest you back away real slow-like as not to startle me.
Now, I’ve know about my lack of crafting skills and I’ve come to terms with it. There’s some things in life that I’m gifted at and there’s some that I’m not. I’m totally ok with my inability. That is until Vocabulary Hat Day comes around every year.
what’s vocabulary hat day, chris?
Great question. Let me tell you. In theory, it’s a wonderful concept. Kids are given a specific vocabulary word that they create a hat to signify the meaning of their word. Then the kids all wear their hat and march in a parade throughout the school, beaming with pride at their creations. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Well, not to you crafty folks it doesn’t! But to me, it sounds like utter hell. Putting my crafting skills on display for the whole entire school is about as much fun as donning a swimsuit and heading to the beach with a Victoria Secret model. Thanks but no thanks!
The first year, I naively just wrote the word and definition on a piece of paper and taped it to a hat. I hear you shrieking in horror but yes, that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t know any better! Other kids hats were creative and fun. There stood my kids with their pathetic baseball hats and plain, white paper attached that might as well have said ‘my mommy doesn’t love me’.
Seriously, how do I compete with that??
I didn’t know how I was going to do it but this year was going to be different! I was determined. Emma’s word was Petal. ok, i can do that. Then I saw Gerrit’s word… Sly. Are you kidding me?!? I begrudgingly set to work.
This is the pinnacle of craftiness/creativeness I shall ever behold. No more Vocabulary Hat Days please.