All the small things

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I took this picture a couple of months ago when I walked into the bathroom and noticed Godzilla attacking Mermaid Barbie.  It made me laugh but it also made me think about how quickly these days will go by.  I’m sure it will feel like a blink of my eye when I no longer find toys littered in my shower.  Kids just grow so quickly.

Mother’s Day makes me a weepy fool.  Each mother’s day quote chokes me up and I find myself sniffling like an idiot when tears blur the words in the Mother’s Day cards I read at Target.  Not because my kids only tell me on this day how much they love me.  No, it’s because I get overwhelmed with the tremendous responsibility I have in shaping and helping them become the amazing people they are meant to be.  I hope they can see my heart and how much I love them regardless of the scolding and directing I must do.  That despite my moments of frustration and my wayward attempts at juggling family time with work and their extra curricular activities, I love them more than anything on this earth.  That I would do anything for them but sadly, sometimes I will fail them.

I won’t always say the right thing or fulfill what they need from me.  There will be times when I fall short of the mom they need me to be and I hate that.  It breaks my heart to think that I’ll hurt them by my failures.  Some I won’t even know I’ve perpetrated upon them until the scar is revealed.  My soul weighs heavy with the fear that I’ll stunt them.  My inadequacies stalling their growth instead of cultivating it.

There’s so much I want to impart upon them.  I want to show them the value in working hard.  To not shy from it but gladly accept it.  That the things that come to us from struggle mean so much more than the things that are easy.  I long to teach them that life only happens once.  To not just sit on the sidelines watching it go by but to participate and direct it.  That chasing after their dreams is what makes life worthwhile and that finding people who want to run alongside them makes it that much sweeter.  And to laugh.  Dear Lord, let me teach them to enjoy life.  To dance and sing, even if they do it off-key and off beat.  That life can be a beautiful adventure if they let it be and I desperately hope I succeed in showing them the way to let it in.

It’s an amazing gift to be given such a task.  The mission of giving your children wings, training them to fly and hoping that they’ll soar.  It’s true what they say… becoming a mom means learning to live with your heart outside your body.  And certainly, this business of motherhood ain’t meant for sissies.

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About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in Becoming, Me, My family, The kids, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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