The kids don’t stand a chance

As a part-time substitute bus driver, I don’t usually get a chance to get to know the kids I’m driving.  Driving only in the morning, it’s normally pretty dark and the kids are half asleep.  Yesterday was a little different though.  A 6th grade student wanted to tell me quite a bit  and I thought I’d share the crazy conversation we had with all you. 

Student: “Hi, I’m Billy”

Me: “Hi Billy.  How are you?”

Billy: “Good.  There’s a stop up there.  Do you know where it is?”

Me: “Yeah, I got it.  I drove this run the other day.  Thanks though.”

Billy went on to tell me about a bet he and his mother had made over his ability to finish an ENTIRE burrito from ‘that taco place’.  I thought his story was done when he added that he had eaten it all…

Me: “oh good.  So you won.”

Billy: “Yep.  That burrito really hit the spot.  I ate it all but my tummy, I mean my stomach, started hurting.  Then I had to go.”

That was my red flag that this was about to turn into a discussion I really didn’t want to have so I decided to switch topics….

Me: “That’s too bad.  What grade are you in, Billy?”

Billy: “I’m in 6th.  I really like this school.  I went to *BLANK* school last year but I don’t like that school.”

Me: “No?  How come?”

Billy: “The principal was a bad man.  He used to experiment drugs on me.”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, he what?”

Billy, completely serious: “Yeah, he was really bad.  It’s child abuse to experiment drugs on kids ya know.”

Me, completely dumbfounded: “Uh… you mean your parents gave permission for you to take medication at school?”

Billy: “No.  The principal used to just give me shots and stuff.  That’s child abuse.  My parents were very mad.  They called the police.”

Me: “They called the police?  What did the police do?”

Billy: “They put him in jail.  He’s a very greedy man.”

Me: “Wait, why is he greedy?”

Billy: “Because you can’t experiment on kids.  That’s child abuse.”

Me: “Ooo kay.  Yeah, you can’t just…”

Billy: “Hey, is the grass dying?  It looks like it’s dying.  I like to mow the lawn.”

That was the end of his story.  Let me assure you that this story has zero credibility.  No one has been incarcerated for drugging their students and a woman has been the principal at that particular school for years.  There is no man experimenting on little elementary kids in our district.  It was scary how completely serious he was when he told me this though.  I wonder what other wild tales he tells to random strangers.


About Chris

These are the pieces of my life and those that make it worth living
This entry was posted in Funny stuff, Me, Other Peeps, Random Ramblings, School, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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